Pretend, for as long as you
have to, that today was
not just the hottest day
of the year, but also the
hottest day in the history
of the planet. How hot
do you imagine it would
have to be?
Easy to find
out, I suppose, but just

for the time being, for
the remainder of the time
you’re pretending it’s the
hottest day, also pretend
that Google has no
answers for you. Pretend
that instead of going to
your hot office where your
hot computer is generating

ungodly British Thermal Units
pretend that there is no
easy way to find out. Pretend
that to find out you would
have to visit the library
and look the answer up on
microfiche. Further that
once you found the answer,
you couldn’t make a copy

of the page, but had
to write it down longhand,
and appropriately document
your source. Pretend
the library was not air
conditioned. Neither your
house.
Are you with me?
If so, then here we are

together, in the hottest place
on earth, during the hottest
time on earth, in a room
with a pillow and air
blowing on our feet.
Here we are together – 
for the first time if
not the last.

Because together we’ve
made it bearable by
having shared it.
Officially the hottest
day or not – we do not
double-check at the library,
of course – it is the
hottest day either

of us can remember – 
which makes it so.
The National Weather Service
does not need this
information. There is no such
place anyhow.
And now, having played
my little game, I wish

you would join me again
some time. Perhaps
tomorrow. The forecast
by the back of my arm
is for record highs. And
later on… a twister.

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